Bealltainn

Just for reference, I’m using my Hearth culture’s spelling and pronunciation for ‘Beltane’ or May Day. The literal translation for this word is ‘May Day’ in my Green dictionary. I’ve also seen it spelled ‘Bealtuinn’, although I can’t substantiate that; it’s not in my dictionary.

Bealltainn is pronounced ‘byaul-tinn’, with emphasis on the first syllable, as is usual in Gàidhlig. The ‘tinn’ part would have a very, very soft ‘t’, not like a hard American ‘t’; more like a voiceless ‘chi’ in ‘church’. Emphasis is always on the first syllable, unless there is an accent mark saying otherwise.

Reflections on Bealltainn, Part 1

My homework for week 3 needed to be addressed, so I decided to write down my thoughts here, now.

Since my Hearth culture is Gaelic, more specifically Scottish Gaelic, I needed to look at some customs, both ancient and modern.

General:
This is traditionally the beginning of the bright half of the year; personally I feel it begins at the Equinox, but, the light is NOTICEABLY different now. In general, this was a night of a thin veil, and from the Germanic cultures we have the association with Witches and evil things going bump in the night, Walpurgisnacht, a night of fear. Of course, May Day is a time of dancing the May Pole and general dancing and celebration.

Ancient:
Bealltainn was a time when the cattle were driven to pasture, through the fires to cleanse and bless  them. It is a time of fear and uncertainty, for the cattle are as gold to the People, and they are put at risk driving them from the close-in pastures to their summer grazing. During the day, love and charms for it abounded.

Modern:
In Edinburgh still is the Beltane Fire Festival, on Calton Hill, a riotous ceilidh extraordinaire with a Fire Procession witnessed by about 12,000 people. How I wish I lived in Edinburgh, my favorite city in the world! Fire has always seemed to be a part of this celebration. Fire in its cleansing, purifying, celebratory and passionate aspects, that is.

Since I was raised ‘Christian’ (my family very loosely called themselves such, although ‘nothing’ was a little closer to the truth) I grew up with Easter. It seemed grim and sad and rather schizophrenic, actually; on the one hand, there are eggs and bunnies and chocolate and hunts, and wild splashes of colour everywhere; and on the other, a grim spectacle of torture, suffering and tombs and miracles of rising from the dead. I don’t miss it. Well, now, I miss the baskets full of chocolate 😉 I have to be real here!

If the truth be known, I know it’s here in mundane ways. My boss,  a Jew, celebrates Passover and he’s out of the office; Cadbury Eggs show up everywhere, along with Chocolate bunnies, and I’m a calendar watcher like crazy for budgeting and paying bills, so I’m usually excruciatingly aware of the date and day all the time.

I don’t really like this time of year, much. I’m a Winter person – I love the cold, I love the desaturated colours of the leaden sky, and how beautiful the trees are with their naked branches forming patterns against the sky. May-time is ALLERGY season and I have difficulty breathing, and it also reminds me that, as I grow older, I do not have a partner to share my life with. Nothing like Beltane, everyone focusing on love and love charms, and the Lord and Lady’s ‘Great Rite’ to ram that fact home.

But, all in all, there is beauty here, and quickening of life, and I still get caught up in the excitement of watching the trees bud out and the flowers come in waves of beauty.

General Thoughts on the Eight High Days

As the WotY points out, ADF is a neo-pagan organisation and is not ancient or re-constructionist; I agree with this. The modern pagan community has eight High Days, and in this modern world, where we mostly are urban (or suburban) and desperately need to reconnect to nature, this really is a necessity. It tends to help focus on the change of season, and make one aware of the differences between our stated intentions and the performance of generic ritual based on the seasonal cycle of other places and times. This means I OPEN MY EYES and SEE the change of seasons as expressed through my LOCAL PLACE and TIME, and live in the now, as well as be cognizant of the past. My spiritual path is MINE, not some other group of people living in the past in a different place. My needs are different than theirs, and just because it was done in the past, doesn’t mean it’s better or more legitimate. The definition of ‘antiquity’ does not contain ‘superiority’.

This encompasses, not just the seasonal cycle I see in my physical environment, but also, for me, the idea of scientific understanding of the WHY of the seasons; the tilt of the Earth’s axis, the physical properties of this event, and how the motion of the Earth in its orbit creates these seasons; this is all important for me to connect with the Cosmos, not just the Microcosm here on Earth. As it has been pointed out to me in my family, when I was a child, one of my first words was ‘WHY’ – and a favorite refrain of childhood. I have never ceased wanting to know, actually. It’s a double-edged sword.

This makes the Solstices and Equinoxes, for me, every bit as important as ‘cross-quarter’ days. As an urban solitary, and somewhat alienated from my cultures, both ancestrally and otherwise, I don’t connect well with the agrarian and social aspects of my Path. I tend to dislike the ‘cross-quarter’ celebrations as performed by the larger Pagan communities of the area. For example, Beltane seems to be a valentine’s day for Pagans, and although this High Day is associated in the Gaelic culture for love during the day, there are other aspects that could potentially be addressed. I also don’t resonate with the ‘Lord and Lady’ and I don’t resonate with calling ‘Watchtowers’. I am not knocking their Path – most of the Wiccans and Pagans I know are deeply spiritual – and their is value and strength in their approach, and I have learned much from it. Some of their rituals are powerful, moving, and spiritually intense.

The problem here is that I need my own way; I need my ritual to MEET my NEEDS and reflect my own Hearth culture, study and convictions, not just worshiping generically. Hence, this study and joining this organisation.

Notes on the Upcoming High Day

Everything, right now, is a confusing jumble for me, so I need to start somewhere, and work through things in my head before actually DOING something. I will start SIMPLY.

My first High Day is Bealltainn, and although the official calendar day, May 1st, falls on a Sunday, I will be working the rite on the Monday following. This is acceptable, because, according to ADF Constitution Article 4, it is to be celebrated within one week prior or after. May 2nd is fine, and may even be a tad closer to the actual midpoint between the Equinox and the Solstice. The historical time, corrected for our calendar, would actually fall around May 5th.

I’m holding this ritual outdoors, in a local park, and for various and sundry reasons, I’ve chosen to include First Oath as the working. This, too, should be acceptable, for First Oath needs to be complete before or ON the next High Day.

Also, since my Path is a ‘becoming’ and tends to develop organically over time, I intend to follow the pure basics, and focus on intention, quality and mindfulness of the ritual, more than an elaborate ‘performance’. Such a thing would defeat my purpose. I have been performing ritual now for over a decade, so, for this first High Day, I intend to focus on deleting things from my Path that would not go with ADF; elemental and directional addresses, for instance.

In my Homework for WotY, I have ‘completed’ the readings, but, I put the word in quotes, because I will need to refer back about a bazillion times in thought and re-reading, for this is the foundational steps of my worship and I need to know it cold.

Thoughts on cultural identity

Here’s a definition of  how cultural identity is viewed in psychological terms:

“Your cultural identity is your family history, your relationships, and how you interconnect with others. It is the combination of the genetic framework that you were given and the environmental factors that have shaped who you are. It relates to your preference of with whom you like to spend your time and the types of cultural characteristics to which you best relate. Cultural Identity also relates to how you maintain personal relationships. In essence, the people with whom you most strongly connect, whether that be from a familial, ethnic, and racial consideration or whether that means the “type” of person. Your cultural identity includes how you compare yourself to the rest of the world, your nationality, your socio-economic class, and even who you love and why.”

Burgess, T., Pugh, K., & Sevigny, L. (2006) The Personal Vision Workbook, New York: Thomson Delmar Learning

Under that definition, I guess, I could say I was somewhat Celtic, or a Gael. My great grandfather grew up in a Gaelic-speaking household (the family lived in Glasgow, but was from Tarbert, Loch Fyne) ; but he never taught his daughter, my grandmother, anything but English. They did, however, own a wee pekinese by the name of Caraid – Gàidhlig for ‘friend’.

Interestingly enough, psychological definitions don’t mention the language you speak as being a cultural determiner. However, I think it permeates everything – language both shapes beliefs and transmits them. It’s almost like the water a fish swims in – is the Fish aware of the water? He certainly is when you take the water away. That is how I feel, personally, and this has been echoed many times when I’ve been ‘across the Pond’ – I get asked, “Why are Americans so interested in their ancestry?” This is expressed in a totally bewildered way, most of the time. My response is the variation on the ‘fish out of water’ theme – I’m gasping for my culture, because I’m not surrounded by it.