It’s part of the journey, but not easy to take

Here it is the beginning of a new, exciting time in my life, and I’m not very happy with my Path. It feels like all work and no fun, and I question whether I even belong here. I feel very disconnected from any community, and I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t think I’m all that cut out for ADF. I don’t have the intellectual rigour. I’m a flippin’ artist, for Goddess’ sake, and my entire schooling was basically technical / trade school, and I haven’t done any, what I call ‘book-work’ since then. In art school, it’s all about the portfolio and how proficient you are at the various mediums, including the computer. I’m not dumb, but I feel like my IQ is about equal to my shoe size around many of the people in ADF. I feel stupid, inept and completely unoriginal, and I just don’t know how to belong anywhere. The ADF eMail lists don’t really work for me. They feel cold and impersonal, and too disjointed. I don’t know where to go for encouragement, or a plain, ‘hey – you still here? That’s a good thing!’ I need that sort of interaction.