I’ve decided I’m approaching my Spiritual path all wrong. I’m unexcited, de-motivated, and tempted to just power through things to ‘get it done’. Approaching my path as a checklist of achievements is a sure-fire way to spin off the path and treat my path as something it’s not. It should not be a burden. It should not be a task to ‘get through’. If it is every once in a while, then it’s not a problem. However, that’s not what is happening here. It feels that way *all the time*.
What I need to do is look at this as a gift. The gift of this emotional / mental reaction is that it’s showing me a problem somewhere, something that’s not working. That’s not a signal to ‘get rid of it’ or ‘give it up’. It’s a signal to slow down, reflect, examine, and then, after a while, make deliberate choices to test new things. Perhaps I need to add or subtract; perhaps I need to ‘get rid of things’; maybe I just need to *recommit*. Maybe the pacing or focus is wrong. I don’t know what the solution is, because part of the gift of the situation is learning to examine and sit with things, and then deliberately try different things without attachment to outcome, before making a choice.