May 10th, Mother’s Day: I decided I was going to do the ritual right after breakfast, but before doing the ritual, I would go through the instructions and do a dry run, so that I could focus on movement and intent, more than ‘getting it right’, during the actual ritual. This time, I felt better prepared. This time, I knelt in my ritual space and actually felt the ritual instead of focusing on the discomfort of the smoke or focused on ‘how am I supposed to do this?? what do I do now???!!!?’.
I decided to continue with the loose sage in the incense burner instead of switching to the sage smudge stick I use for house cleansing. It felt right, because I was happy to do the ritual. I feel like I will be able to go forward with this ritual, and that it has benefit for me, I just need to clear out a lot of resistance and negativity. I also feel that process has begun. I made progress.
Over the course of the day, I noticed that my happiness had returned. I had been knocked ‘off kilter’ for a couple of weeks. My focus and joy had come back.