As time goes on, I’m being acquainted with a part of myself I don’t like. It’s a very obstinate, negative, contrary part. It’s the part of me that says ‘no!’ and ‘i don’t want to!’ and ‘ain’t gonna!’. It is also a part of me that tries to be very different – the opposite of whatever the group is doing. I saw this part come out in an online chat environment in an oracle study that I attend. It’s a part of me that feels very alienated and unlike others. I have my suspicions as to the origins and survive value of this part of me, but in truth, I don’t know how to cope with it now. I believe this part of me needs to be tempered and healed, if I am to interact with others, and be a worthwhile member of a group. Best it comes out now, where I can see and deal with it, than later.
One thing I’ve learned on this path, is ‘timing is everything’. This part would not have become part of my conscious awareness, if I did not have the resources and awareness available to me to begin to heal. How am I going to heal this? I don’t know. Not yet. But, because of my Path, I now have the faith to say ‘in its own time’ and ‘I will also learn the value of this uncomfortable side of me’.